Oh singlelady you just described Ro Laren from the next gen and just about everyone on Voyager. This would also apply to Riker's insubordination, Kirk's constant disregard of the the prime directive and insubordination, Checkov's struggle with him being unsure of himself, T'Pol's insubordination and sometimes questionable loyalty. It's apparent you don't like Star Trek at all if what you're describing is your beef with the show.
Have you ever watched Star Trek?
Were you a fan of Voyager?
How are you comparing those scenes and situations? Its like somebody sat down with the Remastered Star Trek: The Original Series, and whizzed through a few episodes and tried to mimic what they remembered. But they only remembered the stupid stuff and never got the overall feel and flow and structure of the various elements of Star Trek. They took parts of canon and misinterpreted what it meant to the overall Trek universe. But mostly they just trashed canon and stuffed wadded tissue in the holes they have punched into it with Discovery. Season 2 will be it's last.